Oceanhippie.net - Blog

Google Search is Shit

Remember the bad old days? lycos, webcralwer and so on then along came google and smashed them? Those days are gone, I have switched to Duck Duck Go, not for privacy reasons but because google .....

startOmatic(tm)

Replacing race officers with robots. It can’t be bargained with, it can’t be reasoned with, it doesn't feel pity or remorse or fear, and it absolutely will not stop... Unless .....

Free as in Beer

To quote americas's cup .com "Every Match and race of the 36th America’s Cup presented by PRADA will be streamed live on Youtube, Facebook and americascup.com in almost every .....

Well F*&% me....

IT worked. The "Portable Audio Video Capture Cards HDMI to USB 2.0 1080P 4K Record Via DSLR Camcorder Action Cam for High Definition Acquisition, Live Broadcasting (USB .....

Do not lock your keys in the back of the armored van

OK defiantly on holiday, airport security knows me - he used to do ATM security when I used to fix them. He or one of his colleagues is source of one of may favorite phrases "Don't lock your .....

Hurrah for the blackshirts

Facebook slapped the assembled screenshot right in my face yesterday. Which I posted god knows how long ago.  I assume it is their "anti fascist" filter I fell foul .....

OBS Remote (yes studio)

Sigh, I don't sit at a desk and I don't stream minecraft. Also I can build wifi and power supplies. Having a remotre control for OBS Studio would be handy and seems rather difficult to .....

Onscreen display for Sailing

OK so the plan to WiFi stream from boats is coming on. I have some onscreen displays for OBS (Open Broadcast Studio) testing vid below:   This is me and OBS testing the .....

Buttock Clenching Terror

Buttock Clenching Terror – Novice Helm round the sand bar. Boat owners are often nervous handing the helms of their preciousesesses (‘gollum) over to anyone one else. The addition of .....

Death of a Legend: Mourning Pain Shop Pro

Well I messed this post up. PaintShop Pro 9 no longer runs on win 10. damn.

Locked and Loaded

Full Metal Jacket.

Some folks on Facebook will watch anything. God your lives must be dull. I even put up a "WARNING! streaming video testing" up first. if your not trying to answer the question can I .....

Rugby Union Youtube Scoreboard for live streaming

I've been live streaming to youtube with my Rugby Club and Sailing Club. I've re-built an app to put an onscreen display, scores and countdown timer on the screen. "How come the .....

Cruft for Phones

the Tendency of PC's to accumulate "cruft" has been well documented see "State of Decay" Verity Stob's now venerable index to gauge PC decrepitude. Phones too can cruft. .....

The Decline (and fall?) of Western Civilisation. Part one: credit.

Everyone knows that 2016 looks like being a disaster, and blame is being thrown around. I am afraid my confidence in the future and humanity is at an all time low. Lets look at where we are, where we .....

What have the Romans ever done for us? (BREXIT)

A plea to the Brexit camp. In my personal case. The EU has: Subsidized my farm given me free health treatment in  Portugal The Caribbean island of Bonaire (Dutch overseas .....

Top of the World

Top of the world: Panorama from mount Kosisco

Facebook Birthdays Policy and Apology

Right: after some facebook embarrassment: I am like the queen*, I have a real birthday and a fake birthday. For some reason facebook had my real birthday, this is an oversight, the whole .....

Grrr outbrain

Outbrain on Wikipedia Grrr, sometime over xmass, outbrain managed to embed its self into both the Guardian and NT news mobile sites. In both cases it tricked me into clicking it.I thought I was .....

KD-X320BT

I bought something new, and from a shop. You should be shocked, since I prefer secondhand off the net. I went into Repco* and bought the cheapest stereo in the place. I am genuinely impressed. Its .....

Quit Whining - Online advertisers bleat and no one cares.

First the Music industry was running a cartel and then got exactly zero sympathy when piracy took off. A few years latter it was the movie industry bleating, DVD's region codes and their policy .....

Opera is dead long live Opera

good news I don't like the new version of Opera (that's a browser)*, I did like the old version, in the days when MS was giving I.E. away for free I paid for Opera! Yes Paid for an .....

More on Windows 10 (I still hate it)

Despite my best efforts I've been forced to use windows 10 for real. This is the second attempt to get to like it. It didn't work. I rebuilt my old laptop (first Gen i5 80gig SSD, 4gig .....

*sigh* windows re-install

It may be my last windows 7 install ever? Well if Windows 10 is not a complete turkey, and, no, I'm not taking bets on that. There is a theory, much argued that every good windows release .....

Would UK Politicians stop talking rubbish. Again..

Listening to the British political establishment going "I'll never even speak to Nicola Sturgeon, let alone work with her" rhetoric I am confused. Its not really they're choice to make.If the voters .....

How to Make ASCII art work in Email Signature

For years I've had a crappy home ASCII art signature in my email - it only works on REALLY old computers. Not that I ever cared. for years I kept my email to ASCII not HTML Partly this is becasue .....

The Terror of Nakara NT 0810

Tonight the League of Burmese Trombonists present a best seller play entitled. The Terror of Nakara NT 0810 Scene One an air conditioned bunker in Mumbai, rows of desks, like the banks or oars on .....

Windows 10 - its doesnt suck?

Hidden Start Menu in Win 8That's How much M$ liked the start screen I like everyone with the power of choise, am still on windows 7. This is because I hate windows 8, and before anyone asks its not .....

Somebody was listening

I'm not going to get over exited yet. But Opera 12 is now being fed an older version of Google's home page (like I care), howerver that will be the tip of the iceberg, don't get me wrong its nothing .....

Connectwise MSP Sucks

 and reI'm uploading this because I need to warn any poor bastards who have the misery of having to work with the Ticket loosing and job complicating system known as connectwise FAIL. lets .....

Even the ones with digital watches

"And so the problem remained; lots of the people were mean, and most of them were miserable, even the ones with digital watches" just say "Fuck off Google" Wearable Tech - AKA digital watches I .....

Exited about a computer game and proud to be British?

Neither of these things happen as often as they used too, for 2 reasons. One I've seen a lot of the world and found bits I like more than the UK. Two they stopped making the sorts of Computer Games .....

Progress Bar of Life

|===================| The Windows Progress Bar of life is slowly slicing minutes off your life:  Abort, retry, Ignore

Pommy Land Customer Service

On of the things you notice when you leave is the shear bloody minded incompetence of the UK, specifically the bits where you need to get something done by someone on you behalf, online banking, .....

Droving

Droving Cattle - like in the westerns died out in the 60's, roads and road trains I assume. End of an era and all that. Right now in 2013 - call it 50 years later there's a drought in Far Western .....

Is Darwin for you? A Handy Quiz to see If you'll fit in.

 The Immigration blurb keeps saying you should be aware of Australian culture and cost of living etc. The Northern Territory bits of it make even more mention of it. Can't think why.  Even .....

No Future

I work in IT, its simple, without banging on about Nm processes and 3d transistors or Moore's Law PC's double in Power every 18months to 2 years, If its 4 years old its not work using/fixing. .....

Belated and benighted blog

Firstly I am on a train in the UK, its expensive and late. Woot. I'm in first class, cos its cheaper. Which like much of the UK is insane. Apparently Revenue Protection Barriers are in place between .....

Bah Humbug

Its Christmas, traditional time for shopping, I've not bought a luxury for 2 years. The last was a hard disk to take on my travels.  Been to play at Harvey Norman (Dixons with furniture) JB .....

The Master Race

Southern softies need not apply The following is an article from today's 'The Sunday Territorian', sister paper of the Croc-tastic NT news (Croc's, nudity and ute crashes a speciality). original is .....

Coming Home.

OK, been playing certain cards close to my chest for a while now. Been trying to get a Work Visa for Australia. After 15 years in Brighton (give or take a few trips around the world) was, well maybe .....

Lost in Transit

Banaue Rice Terraces OK I'm at "Clark", that's Manilla's second airport. Yes Manila, its a "Ryanairport" which means its so far from Manila its takes two hours on the bus. Public Transport in the .....

Gove (actually)

Back in the Northern Territories, I've made progress on Pete, but he's still not really up to speed with just how sparse bits of Australia are. I didn't manage to get through to him that North of .....

Rapture

The Rapture/judgement day/zombie apocalypse appears not to have happened. Its not the first time this sort of predication has gone awry. But this one has come in the age of facebook and .....

Angry Wangry

Just been researching RS's new boat the RS100. Looks a little like an MX Ray. It appears the RS100's a bloomin good boat selling well etc etc etc. Unlike the MX Ray which was an appaling lump of .....

We have to put up with Alan Sugar on the apprentice (and jokes about him on the Now Show) - Amstrad is dead people, likewise Sinclair appeared in a tv remake of his life a year or two back. The .....

Waltzing Matilda (alt version)

In the Isa (Mount Isa) been down't pit. Twas cool. Anzac day tomorrow. Wondering weather to stay or go. Probably go, aparently 60 down the road is free camping. Probably get a few beers and some ice .....

Things you didn't know about me

I caused the Bloop ('twas an exelent curry). I am the real king of Redonda I am the only thing Chuck Norris is scared of. I know where Lord Lucan went (he is dead now, we gave him a fantastic .....

Weddingballs

I'm sure there is a special column running in PrivateEye to celebrate the insanity that is the royal wedding. Here's my contrbutions. http://www.guandongenterprisesltd.com/ - Please check out the .....

Updates

Dull ignore. This website, when I redesigned it whilst stuck in a hotel in Nottingham 2 years ago was suposed to be clean simple and unexotic. Ooops its sliped a bit since then. Partly it went .....

Driving on the Right

The Frankly awesome adventures of Evan the Canadian. - and you thought I killed and ate hitch hikers.

Sad News

It is well deep sadness I woke this morning to the news that all 4 people on Yacht Quest have been killed by their captors. My condolences go out to Bob and Phyllis's and Jean, Scott Adam's families .....

Apple's greatest blunder.

You know what I'm talking about its iTunes. When the first iPod's came out, with simple buttons and massive hard disk storage, yes a program was needed to manage your music. As time went .....

International Rescue

Despite my and frankly Matt's reputation for maritime mayhem and carnage, recently its not been us that needs rescueing. One of my favourite T-Shirts headed for hospital on Wednesday night, with .....

Short Cut

Driving one day, sign said: So off I headed for Paradise (you would too) Half way to Paradise I saw another sign: But I knew, instincively, not to take it. There should be no short cuts on .....

Day Time Telly

Being sick is no fun, I have the mother of all colds. This means I'm at Matt's and watching telly. Daytime telly. Did I mention the Oprah house. Not a typo. Oprah Winfrey is in Australia .....

they're coming right for me....

Simanderal at Anchor in Farm Bay Just been down the Botanic gardens, mostly because it was a nice day, its a lovely spot and I know from their blog that Simanderal were anchored .....

Tom has left the Outback

Uh, hu thank you very much...  lake? Arrived in Port Augusta, South Australia. And to celebrate had a beer. It was a small beer... sigh... A drinkers guide to Australia Beer comes in 2 .....

Kings Canyon

And introducing Evan, my latest hitch-hiker. A year abroad student I found near a large rock 440km's from Alice.  You call this a Desert? I'm Back at the Stewart Highway. Another 500km's .....

For 24 years I've been...

I'm still in Alice, the problem with the van is fixed. Sort of.  The Hole The problem was fuel was spraying out one of the injectors. All over the engine. Not good. This is Australia so this .....

Backpacker Van Roulette

How to play the game, the (unwritten) rules and the stakes. Its a high stakes game with winners and losers. We'll find out where I come in much later. What is a back packer van? A backpacker .....

Knight in Shining Armour

Some times you don't get a Knight, just a geek in a shining 20 year old Toyota. We pulled over about 20kms south of nowhere. If nowhere is a place then the Desert Hotel in Renner Springs* is it, .....

Heading South

In Katherine, van seems to be going ok, its done well over a 1000 k now. Gota passenger, a German called Stephan. We camped overnight last night in Kakadu.  Photos are up of Lichfield the day .....

Check List

Gerry can of water - Check Oil Change - Check Stove - Check Bed - Check Curtains - bit thin Fan - Check Eski - Check Beer - Check Gas (as in GAS) - Check Food - .....

Ready to Roll?

I have a Van, and when nobody was looking, reconfigured JJ's Car Hire's firewall to allow ssh out so I can update my blog (James If your reading this - don't worry I put it back.  Me Van, .....

Boiling the Mariana

This marina's small and locked in. And boy is it hot up here. Keith the Lockmaster and man about the dock says the water temp has now hit 30° the sun is beating down on it and many of the .....

Van Diemen's Land

flowplayer("player", "/include/flowplayer/fp.swf", {"clip":{"url":"/content/vid/vdl.flv"}, .....

Sidereal Time

This is one mean solar day. I mean its hot. The reason, well we've not been this close to the Equator since about a week before we got to French Polynesia. Then, unlike now the sun was tracking .....

Cape Yorkie Bar

"Thank you for driving carefully through our ocean" When I left the Panama Canal I carefully wrote "The Pacific Ocean Welcomes careful drivers" shamelessly half inched off the Red Dwarf .....

He'd man!

Captain cook, was a sailing god. I know "I say I am a sailing god" but that's only whilst I'm overdosed on adrenalin after a particularity crazy dinghy sailing session. Don't get me .....

Hitchhiking With Serial Killers

Caught up with Sam, last seen in Gran Canaria 3 years ago. Sam, his cat, his boat and bits of the Bluebell Railway (balast along with Ross' old sash window weights) in Airlie .....

<strine> HTML5 Specification

HTML5 is still gestating even though bits of it are already out in the wild. Fortunately there's still time to get tags submitted. I've taken the liberty of submitting one that will change the face .....

"Sorry I'm late I've got a dirty bottom"

Commuting in Style. How to be late in style.  Matt's Nature Reserve Step One leave your boat on a mooring for 2 years so there's a coral reef growing on it Step Two ensure the Prop is so .....

The Great Mid Ocean Battery Transplant

Remember my last post? About, amongst other things Balmar nobby charge regulators and alternators, and our tials there of. We had it easy. Aspen have had no lecy for days. Their genny is out and .....

Maths Problem

Doctor man he say: Take one tablet ever 6 hours 4 times a day. Apply cream 3 times a a day. Now we're at sea, that means watches. We do watches of 4 hours each, with 2 2 hour watches ("Dog .....

Hapi 30 aniveseri blong independens

You only as old as the country you feel. This ones a youngster at 30. Its the 30th anniversary of independence at down town Port Villa. Damn is it great. Maori pre-match huka meets X-Faxtor, .....

Alice? Who the **** is Alice?

errr? Which one is Alice? I dunno I think its and English thing. It happened once before, Germany Tall Ships Race, 95 or 96. The band on the dock were playing "Living Next Door to Alice". We .....

Blues Brothers

its three hundred miles to Fiji, we've a full tank of gas, half a pack of rolling backy, its mid winter and we're wearing sun glasses. "Ronseal" The fuel's gonna come in handy got 5 knots of .....

Paddle Round the Pier and Lashings of HTML5

Remember remember the 3rd and 4th July is the Paddle Round the Pier weekend. After all the time energy an love i've lavished on it (I usually have to take a holiday) you'll all be going I'm .....

Dwarf Beer

Non readers of Terry Pratchett may not have come across the term Dwarf Bread. I think he was taking the piss out of the Fantacy/Science fiction plot tool system. Probably Tolkien's The .....

Edgar Alan Doh!

Drawing by W. Bligh. The William Bligh Thunk. Thunk. What is that knocking? Knocking at my cabin door? Thunk Thunk, out there darkness, nothing moor!  Oh its a bloody mooring buoy, .....

Moorea Panorama

What can you see? You sea the sea, and Tahiti and the Lagoon. The image below is just a thumbnail. Click to view/download the full version. Click for the full file, or right click and save as to use .....

The Economics of Paradise

Now we were light winded and then becalmed when trying to make big passages. Now were tied to a buoy with 20, frequently gusting higher wind and lots of rainy squalls. Shame fabulous .....

Party like its 2010

Still in Moorea, yesterday, despite some very suspicious VHF usage including the letting slip of the "secret girls channel" - eleven. Pete off Perigriana was disappointed, his 60th birthday and .....

Paradise Lost

Its doing what it does a lot in the pacific, raining. A lot. Soaking out there. Do you all feel better now. We've  been out on a tour, in the rain. The first stop at the water fall was .....

Prickly Heat

No wind, in Marina Taina, Papeete, Tahiti and man its hot. However expensive this Marina may be, its fatal mistake was to give us flat rate electricity. Its thirty something out side, baking .....

How do you say Manihi?

Its not just me! Hakahetau Nobody can pronounce names in he South Pacific, today's radio net is high farce. Nobody can hear Bali Blue the net controler - maybe his new tattoo is interfering .....

Are we neraly there yet?

Broadly speaking yes. Last night we were due a wind change, we had decided not  to fly a spinnaker in case. Opps we didn't keep to that and put it back up again. T'was fine till .....

Pedicure

Since I am now a fashion guru, its time to talk skin care. RSS users will need to got to my actual site for this. If you want to achieve the pinnacle of sailing fashion, like me, your .....

Incoming....

I've never been hit by a flying fish, I've been lucky, they go seriously quick. They appear to be able to swoop around waves, but whether this is about airflow or sight I don't know. I suspect .....

Too Posh by Half

Sigh, its a bit bouncy and I've got a decent laptop. I.E. I didn't get it from pc world. Because its good it watches for shocks to the hard drive and moves the heads out of the way if it .....

Water water every where, and quite a lot to drink.

Well we were one of the last to leave Puerto Ayora, us and Aqualuna. If fact Aqualuna just towed Moonshiner back in with engine troubles as we left. They'd been about a day out when their .....

Paranoia

Been a dull day, last night was fab, kindly invited to dinner on board Perigrina. Apologies if I've misspelled your boat name, it could be worse I have a friend called Virginia i once mispelled her .....

Meat Pie on Legs

The wild life here is spectacular. Spectacularly lazy that is. Fear of man, nil. Top speed less than Sinclair c5 with a flat. Right Click and save as Evolution definitely works mind, .....

Optimists, Pessimists and Sailors

Optimists and pessimists are usually defined as those who see the glass as half full and those who see it a as half empty. There is of course a third category. Sailors. Most sailors don't .....

The Pacific Ocean welcomes careful drivers

I'm gonna come back here one day with a dirty great sign Saying "The Pacific Ocean Welcomes Careful Drivers" and affix it to the last buoy in the channel. After I've got my Zarpe .....

Island Kea II Transits

  Island Kea Locks down to the Pacific at Miraflores Locks We're in to the Pacific! We when up to Gatun Lake through the Three locks at Gatun Tuesday night , overnighted .....

Test Sail

It looks like we made it. As a "Test Sail" 1148Nm is a little excessive. Almost any uk boat won't make that in a year. Could well be the 2nd longest passage till Australia. Maybe even .....

Is there anybody out there?

Remember the James Bond stealth boat? Well we've got one too its called a fiberglass yacht. GRP doesn't reflect much radar, it goes right through. Yes the masts big a and tall and metal but its .....

Its alive

 A yacht without a mast is very sad thing. Its a frustrating thing as well. Redonda in the sunset The last 2 days have been transformational. After wondering when the bits for the headstays .....

Quantum Wave Collapse

Yay the case of Schroedinger's mast has resolved its self. All for the want of a checkbox marked "yacht in transit" on a computer system. Theoretically it should be stepped on  Tuesday. .....

Here Come's my Ride

Caroline and Laika come to pick me up from the dinghy dock at Nelson's Dockyard, English Harbour

Right I'm really going this time.

Gatwick Airport If your reading this I've finally successfully gotten to Antigua. The Island may have sunk under the weight of my crap. But I'll have got there. This is because, unlike .....

Last Chance to Sea

I'm off again on the 28th of december to islands new and seas of blue! The last chance to see me and drink to my departure will be at the usual place at 9:00pm on Wednsday the 23rd of December, most .....

Windows 7 should I upgrade?

Windows 7 for human begins "Should I upgrade" If you have the attention span of a teenager. Then the answer is "No". Should I upgrade to windows 7 Windows 7's features are almost none. It scores .....

Bugger Bognor

Been Playing with technology again, due to the Unique way it works Its ended up off my websites content management system. Went to Bognor and Back on a beach cat Saturday and Sunday. It wasn't a race .....

I can't believe M$ sometimes.

M$ is not the best computer company, but for most people its the only computer company. Most of their products are at baest associated with irritation. I use windows, cos lots of software I've .....

Moblie Friendly

 Mobile Version Woot, got a new iPod Touch, decided to see how tricky it was to "Mobile Friendly" this site. Thanks to someone else's browser ID lib, some nice guy's image resizing scripts It .....

This is not a rant.

No really it isn't. I as those of you who have read "it works (just)" description of a yachites idea of how to deal with an ipod. I have to say I LOOOOOOVE my new ipod touch, yeah its youg to be .....

Normal Distribution

Click to embigen For all their dreadful website's dreadfull problems. Me and pretty much every other geek-come sailor is horribly addicted to The Volvo Ocean Race game. Sad I know. Its fun .....

Dumb and Dumber

Asda FAIL Asda is "Clamping down on killer teaspoons" It won't sell you any unless you have ID to prove your over 18. People have been killed, yes murded by teaspoons. Probably by some Kung Fu monk. .....

Windows 7 ate my hamster

Not waving but drowning. Woopy do, windows Vista was a steaming pile of dog turd. Ask the internet. Windows 7 is better and marvelous and windows is saved world is perfect. Errr... No. Right now .....

Floop or Twoop?

Computers are dumb. Really dumb they're like a gullible younger sybling. The apprentice who's looking for the left handed hammer or a long weight. They do exaclty what you tell them, and carry on .....

Proactive is a brand of Yogurt

Appraisal Targets A couple of years back, showing my ususal respect for authority and dodgy sense of humor I was trying to liven up my Apraisal meeting with my boss. On of the questions he was .....

Ebay for dummies, a seller guide.

Jesus...... I've been selling stuff on ebay, mostly worthless old junk. Old Hard Drives. Boken Laptop bits, a Z88. Yeah that old. Here's a summary of some of the questions, messages and emails that .....

Change to Volvo Ocean Race Rules.

This volvo ocean race has specified that each boat shall carry a "Media Crew Member". In future a VOR 70 shall carry: 1 - Qualified Boat Builder  1 - Naval Archetect 2 - Tons of Epoxy .....

Motivation

I've always been a fan of despair.com, and then I saw this old thread on SA (Warning, NSFW). Thouhg I've got lots of photos, and have been helping to destrol the brighton sailing club changing .....

Merry Christmas

Happy Xmass Due to excessive lazyness and an attitude problem there will be no cards (again) this Christmass. Sorry. Itsn't that I don't care Its just me and sending Christmass cards never .....

A Hitch Hikers guide to the ocean

Or how to sail around the world on someone eles's boat. Topics will include:Where and when to find a boat.What it costsWorld Weather patternsLife on board a yacht.People you’ll .....

Volvo Ocean Race

Screen Shot of Map Here's a map of the current location of the Volvo Ocean race yachts for those like me who can't get the official one to work. Well, I'm not entirely happy with the Volvo .....

NTL and now Vodafone and volvo abuse.

Start of the Volvo Ocean Race NTL set an enginner arround today, to fix our phone. We know there was nothing wrong this end and NTL had done something at the customer services end. He poked he .....

You must have ninja focus to complete your mission.

Ok so I couldn't sty off the old blog. Firstly can I say a big think you to Dave who's been looking after my server wot runs this. Or ran this, thanks to my former colegues its now running on there .....

OMG the Pomms are winning..

Have any of you attached ANY significance to the Medal Table of the olympic medals and more to the point the relative possitions of Austrailia and Great Britain? We're doing quite well for us, .....

Radiator Springs

I think I see the problem.... When I were a lad we used to break down all the time, could fix anything, with chewing gum. When we could aford chewing gum, upper classes would pay us half ha'pney a .....

Evil Cow and Chicken

Not the tallest tree in NSW Cow and Chicken is sitting in a garage, with its lights on, the fuse resolutly refusing to blow. I KNEW this would happen. I've checked into the YHA in Newcastle, even .....

Tom tops out?

Cow and Chicken at 4300 ft I took a tour of GC ages ago, been up the top of southern St Lucia and up the volcano in Vanuatu. However today I hit 4600ft, according to the GPS. Dunno what that is in .....

Any port in a storm

Went a blasting south to Port Macquarie, Al wanted halp with the boat. Of course the plan changed when I got there, but hey, warm bed, internet, meat raffle twas good. Meat Meat Raffle? Meat .....

Surfs up - I'm not

this is NOT me - obviously Went surfing, well I say surfing, it was more like being beatern up by waves and holding a board. Cool fun. Water conciderably warmer than the air. The photo right is NOT .....

Crikey!

Just a piece of glass away Well I've got my van, its therefore started to rain in biblical proportions. Damn. Even the "save water" signs are soaked through. I've got "Cow and Chicken", IE thats .....

Thigs to do in brisbane when your bored.

Now what? Ok I'm not ready to be released into the wild. I'm used to boats. I also suspect I'm the oldest person in the Backpackers, which is cool in way, no guit there. I also appear to be the .....

The Trouble with being an Athiest

The trouble with being an athiest is that if your wrong the one thing thats really going to get on god's goat (apart of couse from Ant and/or Dec) is Athiests. Maybe there is a god, and he's .....

Getting Cold Feet

Its the bleak midwinter here. Well not bleak, sunny but down to only warm now. Didn't wear shorts all day today. I'm now as far south as I've ever been. 21°15' South being a previous record. Temp .....

The Great beer Mission

Actually not a serious mission, compared to northern Pentecost. Where me Al and Jackie march about half a mile through the village to find "the store". The Store was security concious. It had .....

Pamplemoose

Pamplemoose Is the local word for Grapefruit. Here endeth the lesson. Hmmm thats gotta be a good google search term. I'm proably the only website with the word "pamplemoose" on it. We're in .....

Still no Tanna write up

Wer'e in Port Vila, Vanuatu. its much posher than I remember. Its also spelt "Vila", ive been spelling it "Villa". No there's nothing wrong with me, I've not seriously started worrying about spelling .....

Booby on Board - The south pacific welcomes carefull drivers

Booby on board We had the sunburn for a couple of days, then had a booby stay for the night again. What I want to know is where do they sleep when they can't get yachts? They do sleep, they tuck .....

Sunney Suva

Suva, Still. Its been raining worse than an English bank holiday for ever. Well it seems that way. With gusts of 50 knots being forcast outside 2 days ago we remained here. Being rained on. Al uses .....

The smell of boiled eggs

Pefectly cooked eggs, under the jacket is a bowl of rice. Do you know why hot springs smell of eggs? Now I do, the local hot springs in Savusavu (Vannu Livu, Fiji if your interested) are used by the .....

Haapi Place

Cos's need hollidays too Finally wen't up to Ha'apai group. Its raining. Still raining. We stopped at Uonukuhihifo. The sun came about for about 1/2 an hour. We went to the island in search of errr .....

Tonga tied in Nuku'lofa

Spot the mistake Events seem to be conspiring against us. First Dingo arilines cocked up Jackie's flight, marooning us till she (hopfully) arrives tonight, then we can sail off to the loverly .....

I hate Mondays

Ok at present I usually don't know what day it is. Mondays are less of a problem. But years of work mean I still dislike them. Three things are eternal. Death, Taxes and Mondays. They follow the .....

My Perfect Sundae

Promising title for a blog post. I just thought it was funney. Gin and beer suplies arrive There is no icecream here, sorry. Its not Sundae or Sunday. But yesterday evening was pretty nice. I .....

Wet Feet.

"Wet Feet" may not sound like a partilularly serious title for a blog post. Its all about context. Wet feet when stepping out fo the car, one driver having parked with the passeger door next to the .....

The time has come

"The time has come to speak of many thing, of fishing reels and generator things" Bits of boat keep going wrong at present. Some are minor. Chris's tea, minor, that was sat on the gimbaled stove .....

Boring Boring

Approaching the island of Boring Boring,In bad weather. Bora Bora, the most beautiful island in the world, or a contender for it. Shame the weather is rather like that of an English Bank Holiday, .....

Papeete

Pap Arived in Papeete, all this time I've been spelling it wrong. Mostly however its the ear ache I'll remember, straight off the boat down the hospital. On antibiotics(very expensive ones) and ear .....

Close encounters of the Coral kind.

We attempted to enter Manhie, twice, going aground the first time, slight damage to the rudder. Second time we hit the ebb tide. Got forced back out the pass again. Third time the current was still .....

Which hand do you use to wipe your bottom?

Its Alive..... When your bottom is covered with barnacles, its not which hand, but how many. All three of us had a go at it. Finally we've a clean bottom. Its wonderful. The boat feels like its .....

Bloggin may be curtailed.

Blogging May be curtailed.  Some time last night somehow my laptop got broken. Dunno how its usable but the screen is shot. This may curtail my web development. Damn. Hiva Oa is gorgeous, .....

Captian Haddock

Billions of blue blistering barnacles. Literally. Cheap year old Greek anti fouling paint. We were going a bit slow, I wanted to stop for a swim. So over the side I go, equipped with a mask snorkel .....

Nobody came to our party :-(

Party Well we got the nicknacks out and I put on my least scummy T-Shirt. Had a shower (aka a bucket), but nobody came. Its really hard to meet girls in this ocean.  We had a ball anyway, .....

The turning of the melon.

Melon 13 day's into the passage and we're defiantly in the trades. Jackie our weather girl says we've got steady wind for the next seven days. There's fresh bread in the oven we've 48 beers .....

Fastnet, Force 10

The 1979 Fastnet race was carnage. The biggest ever disaster in yacht racing I've just been reading the book, written by one off the competitors. Some of it hit home. Dragonfly, Duncan's race boat .....

Steath

We found a movie on board. Called "Stealth". Now I've seen some complete tosh in my time, and, when your being rained on "like Manchester" to quote Al, have been at sea for a week and have 2 more .....

A good nights Sleep

Not as think as you drink I am Now there are 3 of us every three nights one of us get to sleep properly from 10:00pm till 6:00am. Last night was my turn The wind on the other hand had other ideas. .....

and then there were three

Moooooon Riiiiiivvvver, wider than a mile.... Leaving Galapagos tomorrow. 3000Nm miles to the Marquesas, French Polynesia. Owch. Remind me again why I want to sail the Pacific again. For most .....

I don't understand

At about 8:00pm yesterday we were motoring at 5.3 knots. But due to the current making a mere 2.9knots forward progress. We stopped the engine and went backwards, initially at 2.2 knots. Before we .....

Nail biting stuff

Nearly there? We've got about 55Nm to go, we're in the red, there's zip wind. Current seems to be abating. My handy mk1 eyballometer says we've 14 hours of fuel left. Assuming the gauge is linear. .....

Still in the Doldrums

Ships Log Hmmm we've got 250Nm to go, we've got half a tank of Diesel and three small gerry cans left. When I say "gerry cans" I mean were using them as gerry cans the writing on the side says .....

Any one want to see my boobies?

Tom's Boobie Well actually there's only one booby, and, disappointingly it not blue footed. I like blue footed boobies. Wow Firefox actually spell checks "boobies". Well this is seriously getting .....

Doldrums

The Doldrums Defiantly in the doldrums, Squally black clouds are gathering. Wind is very light and right on the nose, we've been on both tacks, sailing, motoring or motor sailing at random intervals .....

Visa does not work.

Use your card in millions of cash points around the world they said.... The Eastern Caribbean chain works intermittently. Some days it doesn't. In Venezuela, in 4 days and more than 2 dozen .....

Panama Canal Webcam

I will be transiting the Panama Canal Tomorrow and Saturday. You can see us going through the Gatun Locks on Webcam tomorrow (friday) night. Were leaving here at 18:30 local (23:30GMT). So Estimated .....

Pilotage

Woot! I had a cold and wrote up some info on Rodney Bay Marina. A few weeks ago, I can also tell where people are coming from when they visit my site, and what they're searching for. I'm only page .....

Are the Andes?

Those of you that remember your Molesworth (you probably don't its a public scool thing). Remember me publick scool educated, ok Educated is over generous to Sedbergh, I think we can say I .....

Aruba

oooh err its posh here. The marina is owned by the 5 star hotel ($6US a beer), that means we get to use the gym, pool etc. Or in my case nick towels. The boat next door has been hear a year. They .....

Crew Wanted

Jackal the boat I'm sailing on is in need of an other Crew member. A third person to cross the pacific. If your interested. Get in touch with me and I'll put you through to Allen the skipper. .....

Bolivars and Bog Paper

The Currency of Venezuela is the Bolivar. Its about 2000 old bolivars to the US Dollar officially or up 5000 changing cash. That's if we had any cash, which we don't. Wish someone had said. I've .....

Barbados?

In Grenada, flew here via Barbados, on board "Jackal" a 42ft beneteau. We'll be heading off for Isla Margarita in Venezuala with in the next few days. My Zaurus has died, so those of you who had .....

Karma part II and dental tourism

Some of you may have seen an earlier blog post entitled Karma. About how I lost a pair of sun glasses on Reduit beach, then found a new pair. Well Karma hadn't finished with me yet. The pair I .....

I'm not as old as you think I am

Its New Year 2008, happy new year readers who are listening. Its my birthday the day after tomorrow. But I wont be 33, I'll still be 32.  On the way across the Atlantic we put the clocks back .....

Video - Aproaching St Lucia

ARC Prizegiving Carnage

Andrew Bishop, head ARC honcho's microphone don't work. Sound engineer has gone to Castries. The last words we heard from him was "Turn it up". Somebody did, the feedback reached an ear-splitting .....

Karma

We've all been watching my name is earl. Karma is a very fashionable concept.   In 1998 I left my sun glasses on a rock on Reduit Beach. I remembered and went back for them, too late .....

At Sea

Ships Blog, boat date 3.1 days, 28th November. this is Bilge boy Tom talking to an audience of 1. I.E. I've got no way of actually posting this to the internet. Standard quote is: Sail south until .....

Damn I are good.

He he... Skilled crew. I just fixed the wifi in the marina in Las Palmas. Damn I'm good. Good Job they didn't change the default password on the router!

Off Today

Well I'm ready to go. Well nearly. I'll find some internet in gran canaria sometime before I head off. Wonder what I've forgotten. I hope it nothing important. My back in 2 kilos over weight. I .....

Website hosted by Christopher Robin

This website is now countrified, since I'm leaving the country this server had to go.   Ok so server is an exaggeration its a MiniITX box running Linux. Well Dave has kindly agreed to look .....

Blogging Tester

Well I'm preping this site for my departure for the Caribbean. To that end I'm integrating Google Maps into it, retiring bits that are no longer relevant and generally having fun. You can watch my .....

Paddle Round the Pier

Paddle Round the Pier, Brighton's seafront charity event is this weekend, (7th/8th July). This year its bigger and spread over 2 days.  Tickets for the party are going fast, get them from Adam .....

Back when my boat was young

This is the 1991 international 14 supercup. According to rumor and other quality info my boat I14 GBR err K 1269 (light blue, with 10 on the bow) would have been 2. Its now 19 years .....

Glade a success

Glade was a success, PierToPier.net's WiFi network covered most of the site, and worked pretty much flawlessly. We're dead chuffed.   For those of you who are interested in my "muddy linux" .....

Pictures

I've finally got round to uploading some pictures, some of me being Stupid, by stupid I mean going out sailing in an international 14 single handed. I've done this a couple of times. Its fun in .....

Teenagers

Apparently I have been accidentally involved with the elections to the Varndean College SU. Sad b*****s. Some of the particularly geeky science students are presumably standing for election. Do not .....

WiFi and CAMRA.

WiFi obviously stands for "Wireless Fidelity" and CAMRA, the infamous Campaign For Real Ale. The two appear to me completely incompatible, the sort of pubs that I like are the ones that serve good .....

Loads of stuff

Been adding a lot of stuff lately. Ironically mostly International 14 related. I was asked by a guy from Plymouth about some advice on handling Penultimates. Must be desperate. So the long reply got .....

Didn't look so Dodgy at the Time

This was an advert for the Sailing Club during the Council's Rockin "Brighton & Hove Seafront Celebration"   As events go it was a disaster - weather was awful, seafront empty, .....

The Metaler vote

Conservative Heavy Metal I have to share this with the rest of the World. This lame letter came thought just before election 2005, the local conservative candidate seems to be targeting the .....

You are what you eat

This book is a joke right.....? Well it made us laugh. The book cost a fortune, and has a look and feel of "spotty dog goes to the beach". Do not buy this book. Its bollocks. Oh and don't take .....

Mobile Advertising Hording

After driving the local Sign Writers Nuts, I how have a nice new Advert on my boat. The process was quite simple, though putting them on took a bit of skill. Alex from Moving Edge commented that .....

Lock to Gateway

The lock to gateway button in Wiana, does indeed lock to gateway. Even when the gateway dies. I assumes it was a more serious version of "prefer Gateway", but no suicidal as it may seem it LOCKS, .....

On the Availbility of Kites

It Seems that Penultimate International 14 spinnakers are hard to come by. A rather nice bloke sold me one last week, and indicated he's got the rest of northern Europe asking if he's got more. If .....

Wanking Sends You Blind

Just Saw this on the register, final proof that interfering with yourself sends you blind.   I'm not sure about he porn for kids bit either... hopefully they'll grow out of it. In the UK most .....